This article goes out to everyone who is single, but especially the ladies. For a long time now, I did not fully recognize how truly difficult it can be to be a single woman. Sure it can be fun, in fact one of my favorite lines to say in response to my singleness is, “Oh, I’m just single and mingling,” but most of the time things are just messy, confusing and just plain old risky. Being single is not all it is cracked up to be, people. But many times it is necessary, like after a long relationship, when you have been burned too many times or just fed up with the opposite sex. And when you look at the big picture, no one really wants to be single. I say that because if your soulmate were available, you would be with him or her. Don’t lie, if Mr. or Mrs. Right was next to you in class, you would be all up on that. Sorry, Beyoncé brings that out in me.

Don’t get me wrong, being single can be a pleasant experience. And many people love being single, especially guys for some reason. Anyway, it’s not all bad, but I must admit being single can be just as difficult as being in a bad relationship. All college students really want is someone to be one’s best friend, first and foremost, someone who you can spend time with – mostly sober – and enjoy their company. It doesn’t have to be some big thing, but it should also not be a secret. Many may also agree the physical aspects of coupling up are rewarding, and people are more willing to do things sober if in a relationship. However, being single allows you to get physical with a larger population of people, but that is not always as rewarding or special, rather, it’s just random and fun. For women, being single is especially difficult, because when women hook up with multiple people, they are consider sluts. But when men hook up, they are studs. We have all heard the saying, “Just another notch on the bed post.” No one wants to be that. Come on, we’re better than a notch, aren’t we? But when our emotions become confusing and harder and harder to read, how do we even know what we truly want?

Beyoncé is right – you don’t want to wait until something is gone and then miss it, you need to tell us that we are the ones you want. Otherwise, you will be alone and we will be gone. OK, those are just some lyrics, but it’s still true. Hiding your feelings, choosing not to recognize them, or not taking the time to figure out what you do and do not want is not fair to anyone, especially yourself. With such a large pool of fun and interesting single people, what is the point in waiting around for someone who doesn’t want you?

The funny thing is that older and wiser people are always informing me that I should be single for at least a couple years of your life, especially during college. And I get it, I totally do, but I think it’s also important to at least date. Then, you will know what you do and do not like for future reference, like when we get to that scary age where we are actually really settling down. Being single is important to find out who you really are, but don’t you think other people shape you, like your family and friends? So you should date or be involved with someone, if not for anything else but to help you evolve. Just get out there and try other people out. You don’t have to commit, but you can see if there’s a connection, even if it is just a friendship. I promise you will get something out of it, even if it just teaches you what to avoid in the future.

OK, so don’t get me wrong; I do like being single because it means I can do whatever the hell I want and not report back to anyone. And by that, I mean I do the things I love and hang out with my favorite people guilt-free. Every weekend for me is ladies’ night out. But being with someone else, or even just dating, does not mean that we should give up our single tendencies or totally forget our schedules and people in our lives.

So, if you like it put a ring on it – well, maybe not a ring – but do something so we know what’s up.

Calder is a sophomore public relations major and can be contacted at jennifer.calder@drake.edu.