As children, we loved playing games – tag, Twister, Clue – you name it. But, have we ever really stopped? Or are we just playing with a whole new set of rules? Why do relationships, and even crushes, have to be so damn difficult?
One would think that, at 20 years old, we would or be tired of red rover and other playground games. Yet, everywhere I look, there we are – playing games and still acting childish. As college girls we find ourselves still saying, “Red rover, red rover, send that new cute boy over.”
Isn’t it time we grow up? On top of everything else, school, activities, intramurals, sororities and work, why is game-playing still at the top of that list? Don’t we have better and more productive things to do with our time? Like finding a guy who is genuine and not going to play games with us. The men of Drake should know better by now than to put up or go along with our silly games.
We are smart, beautiful, great women. What is with all the extra work and drama that we add to our stress? Also, it just seems so high school to be playing games with your crush. No offense freshman, I know you are still transitioning and everything, but cut out the games. Well, that really goes to everyone on this campus, and not just the girls, either.
The last few weekends I have found more and more people, both men and women – or should I say boys and girls? – asking these same questions. I thought when we came to college we were supposed to be adults. Maybe we are just in the stage where we are in between of letting go of our youth and becoming actual adults. But, is that really a legit excuse? It’s just hard to grasp why we play games to begin with. Some experts say that it is completely subconscious and we do it most of the time without even thinking about it.
Now, I do think some games are still fun, and almost necessary, to keep relationships interesting. But what’s the difference between playing games and just being flat out rude?
People need to be honest with one another. Why do we continue to do stupid things like wait until a certain time, or even day, to text or call someone? Even I will admit that, from time to time, I wait a while before I send a text back.
We are told we have to be interested, but not too interested. My biggest question is, who came up with these stupid rules for people to abide by? We have to decide what’s right for us. Why should there be rules, like how long you should be single or that you shouldn’t be with someone again. What is right for you isn’t necessarily right for someone else.
Something else people have been commenting on is reading body language and signals. We may think they are saying something, when in reality they are saying, “Eff off.” Most of what we are saying to people is non-verbal, something we have to be very careful with. Everyone deserves a chance, but when the games begin, it is just best to walk away and know that, in the big picture, you will be better off and have a honest relationship with someone who isn’t a game-player, or just a player – whichever is worse. The whole thing is just maddening.
How much are we willing to let known to the other person? Why do we continue to keep our personal rules to ourselves? I guess it just takes one of the two in a relationship to be brave and tell them how they are feeling.
More people in this world need to be honest, forthcoming and brave. If we never try to imagine what we are missing, if we never take that leap of faith, worse comes to worse and you’re left rejected. But, hey, there will always be someone new to fix that!
Every kind of relationship, even hookups, have some kind of game. Is playing games just a way to figure out the other person? And is playing the game really worth the prize in the end? I think when people play games, they are just setting themselves up for more disappointment when the game playing comes to an unfortunate end, which so many times it does. Then we are left in the same predicament we started with.
Calder is a sophomore public relations major and can be contacted at jennifer.calder@drake.edu.
